Being a Heart Family

My heart was broken lastnight to hear that one of our heart family's lost their little girl. I didnt know this family personally but had been following their blog from the beginning. www.greenehappenings.blogspot.com I cant imagine the pain that they are going through right now and it makes me want to hold Marlee a little tighter. Sometimes I get stressed about Marlee being delayed and not doing things exactly on time, but then I have to stop and remember that my child has been through more than most children ever do. I love to see her scar from her surgery and it makes me so thankful that she is alive! She's my miracle. I came across this poem a couple weeks ago that I wanted to share with you. It truly explains how I feel about being a heart mom.

The day I became a heart mother

One day my world came crashing down,

I'll never be the same.

They told me that my child was sick,

I thought, "am i to blame?"

I dont think I can handle this

I am really not that strong.

It seemed my heart was breaking

I have loved her for so long.

I will not give up on this child.

I will listen to your advice.

I will give my child any chance.

No matter what the price.

I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.

I'll even use the feeding tube.

My child must survive!

Will she need a lot of therapy?

Will she gain the needed weight?

Please God help me do this.

I will accept our fate.

When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.

How many parents would love that sound.

Tomorrow I will be kinder.

As another Angel earns his wings,

I run to my child's bed.

I watch her sleep for quite a while.

I bend down and kiss her head.

I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.

I look to you wondering why?

Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways, not matter how I try.

And yet, I trust you hold her life and guide us through each day.

My mind says savor each moment she's here

but my heart begs "PLEASE let her stay!"

From pacing the surgical waiting room,

to sitting by her bed.

From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.

From wondering, "will she be alright?"

to watching her reach out her hands.

With every smile my heart just melts,

despite life's harsh demands.

For all who see that faded line.

I look to them and smile.

You see my child is loved SO much,

I would face any trial.

That scar I trace with my finger ( It's the door to her beautiful heart)

God must have known how much I'd love her ( just as he loved her from the start)

A heart mom is always a heart mom.

Now wise beyond her years.

For those who have angels in heaven,

our hearts share in all of your tears.

Everyday i will try and remember,

I was chosen for her and no other.

I will always embrace that beautiful day......

When I became a heart mom!